Buying and selling horses can be a bit tricky. Ever had a seller tell you the horse is “bomb-proof” but then you ride him and get bucked off? I have! Here is a humorous (and very sarcastic) approach to “reading between the lines” on these some common selling phrases:
1. “No show prep needed!”
Translation: Just make sure you lunge when you get there. For a while.
2. “Price will increase with training.”
Translation: I have no intention of training him I just want you to buy him now.
3. “Anyone can ride!”
Translation: I’m actually the only person who has ever ridden him so I really have no clue.
4. “To a show home only.”
Translation: I could care less if you show him but this sure does make him sound fancy!
5. “Great ground manners!”
Translation: I spend all day leading him in and out of the trailer and that’s all he is good at.
6. “Comes with all his tack!”
Translation: I really want to get rid of this horse! Please, anybody!
7. “No vices.”
Translation: He doesn’t crib but that’s the least of your worries.
8. “Selling because I don’t have the time he deserves.”
Translation: I hate my life.
9. “Willing to trade!”
Translation: Anything would be better than this horse.
10. “Would excel as a jumper or event horse!”
Translation: He’s potentially crazy.
11. “Needs to be in a program.”
Translation: He’s definitely crazy.
12. “Needs some maintenance.”
Translation: He needs hock injections, stifle injections, knee injections, fetlock injections, pastern injections and he can only eat alfalfa.
Ever tried a horse that turned out to be quite a bit different from what the sale ad said? We’d love to hear it!