We translated the sale ad for you

Thursday, August 18, 2016 - 12:00pm

Buying and selling horses can be a bit tricky. Ever had a seller tell you the horse is “bomb-proof” but then you ride him and get bucked off? I have! Here is a humorous (and very sarcastic) approach to “reading between the lines” on these some common selling phrases:

1. “No show prep needed!”

Translation: Just make sure you lunge when you get there. For a while.

2. “Price will increase with training.”

Translation: I have no intention of training him I just want you to buy him now.

3“Anyone can ride!”

Translation: I’m actually the only person who has ever ridden him so I really have no clue.

4. “To a show home only.”

Translation: I could care less if you show him but this sure does make him sound fancy!

5. “Great ground manners!”

Translation: I spend all day leading him in and out of the trailer and that’s all he is good at.


6. “Comes with all his tack!”

Translation: I really want to get rid of this horse! Please, anybody!

7. “No vices.”

Translation: He doesn’t crib but that’s the least of your worries.


8. “Selling because I don’t have the time he deserves.”

Translation: I hate my life.

9. “Willing to trade!”

Translation: Anything would be better than this horse.

10. “Would excel as a jumper or event horse!”

Translation: He’s potentially crazy.


11. “Needs to be in a program.”

Translation: He’s definitely crazy.

12. “Needs some maintenance.”

Translation: He needs hock injections, stifle injections, knee injections, fetlock injections, pastern injections and he can only eat alfalfa.

Ever tried a horse that turned out to be quite a bit different from what the sale ad said? We’d love to hear it!